Transitioning To Vegan Diet While Living With Controlling Parents

In Morocco, where I’m from, it’s common for adult children to still live with their parents even when they have a job. The lack of courage, obedience to over-controlling parents, and the weight of tradition can explain this phenomenon. But the financial reason remains predominant.

Author: Sarra L’kassmi

I have friends telling me they want to become vegan, but they fear their parents’ reaction. I have experienced the same thing with my father. Even after years of being vegan, he was hoping I would go back to eating animal products because that was what is normal in the eyes of society and his. But I realized it was a psychological issue and not a cultural one. I was able to fix this issue at home. 

If you have parents who have little respect for differences in general and when it comes to you in particular, it is a sign you grew up with emotionally immature parents. I know it is a scary idea  not to see our parents as perfect and always right, but they are human too, just like us, and humans make mistakes. 

Emotionally immature people are annoyed by other people’s differing thoughts and opinions, believing everyone should see things their way. The idea that other people are entitled to their own point of view is beyond them.

And so, when you express or want to express your individuality, you fear being a disappointment to your parents. And you are discouraged and feel ashamed and inauthentic to yourself. 

A child’s individuality is seen as a threat to emotionally insecure and immature parents because it stirs up fears about possible fear of abandonment. They think that if you think independently, you might criticize them or decide to leave them.

They feel much safer seeing family members as predictable.

3 Tips for Talking With Your Parents About Eating Vegan and Your Freedom To Express Your Individuality in General:

1. Understand yourself and your family: reassure them that you being different from them does not mean you will abandon them. Understand that their fear has been passed down through the generations.
2. Know that you have the freedom to live more on the basis of your genuine thoughts and feelings rather than outdated family patterns.
3. Give yourself a happy life now as an aware adult!

The bond my father and I have now is unbreakable. We respect each other’s individuality. And peace and love replaced the confusion and frustration of not being understood and heard, and seen. He now loves the vegan recipes I make and encourages me to follow my passions.

It was not an easy thing to do, but I did it, and so can you!

I wish you the very best.

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